Prepping For The Zombie Apocalypse. No, Really!

Let’s just get it right out in the open… I don’t care how serious of a prepper you are, I don’t care how silly the idea is… somewhere, deep in the far reaches of your mind… admit it… you’ve thought about what it takes to survive the zombie apocalypse.

I have.

Yes, the concept of a zombie apocalypse is stupid beyond belief. Yes, the zombie apocalypse is often used as a metaphor.

Still, you and I both know we’ve thought about it.

SO…

Just for a moment, let’s set logic aside and consider what it would take to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Believe it or not, Spice and I did a podcast on this subject, here’s the link:

You can’t be serious, right?*

First, we need to clarify what a zombie apocalypse is. Let’s turn to our old friend Wikipedia to fill us in.

“A zombie apocalypse is a particular scenario within apocalyptic fiction. In a zombie apocalypse, a widespread rise of zombies hostile to human life engages in a general assault on civilization.”

That’s right, brain eating shamblers are running around looking to pry open our nogs, and eat our cerebral cortexes with a nice glass of zinfandel and some truffles.

So what is a zombie Apocalypse?

Of course, zombie apocalypses come in various shapes, sizes and forms… just like the walking dead does… there’s the “bitten by zombies”, there’s the virus zombies, etc.

Wiki states the obvious: “In either scenario, this causes the outbreak to become an exponentially growing crisis: the spreading “zombie plague” swamps law enforcement organizations, the military and health care services, leading to the panicked collapse of civil society until only isolated pockets of survivors remain. Basic services such as piped water supplies and electrical power shut down, mainstream mass media cease broadcasting”. The national government of affected countries collapses or goes into hiding. The survivors usually begin scavenging for food, weapons and other supplies in a world reduced to a mostly pre-industrial hostile wilderness. There is usually a ‘safe zone’ where the non-infected can seek refuge and begin a new era.”

There are some interesting side effects of a zombie apocalypse, at least as recorded by the TV and Movie industries… for example, zombies are attracted by the sounds of humans. They are, however, apparently repelled by the sound of a lawn mower, since grass remains nicely mowed and maintained months or even years beyond the onset of the rise of the hideous dead.

So what do we do to prepare for a zombie apocalypse?

First, you need to scope out a strong facility where you can set up a fort. Old industrial areas, waterworks, etc. will work great. In my town, there’s an abandoned water plant that I’m planning on heading to when the dead start walking, it’s perfect.

Second, you obviously need a very good bug-out bag, and lots of portable food. Make sure you have multiple ways to purify water.

Third, you need guns. Lots of guns. Many, many, many guns. Honestly, when the dead rise and walk the earth, large calibers won’t do you any better than .22LR’s when it comes to dispatching the shambling rotters, since it’s generally accepted that the best way to kill these foul creatures is with a head shot.

I recommend stocking up on sub-sonic .22LR rounds and some semi-auto .22LR rifles with silencers. It’s best to keep the sound down.

No matter how well you fortify, it seems that some rotters will eventually work their way into your space, so keep an arm-braced chainsaw on hand to deal with this eventuality. Like lawn-mower engines, for some reason the sound of a chain saw cutting through rotting flesh does not appear to attract them.

A guide I found helpful

I could continue, but fortunately for all of us an entire book about what to do if there is a zombie apocalypse has already been written, and it’s a good, complete account of steps to take to protect yourself from zombies.

I’ve read it, and found it entirely amusing, and in all seriousness I recommend it to preppers who have a good sense of humor. There’s actually some decent “general” prepping advice, along with a whole lot of tongue-in-cheek commentary most useful when the dead walk the earth.

NOTE: We don’t have any affiliate links nor any relationship whatever with the author of this book, it’s presented here because I liked it.

In conclusion:

We must admit, prepping for the zombie apocalypse is very, very, very, very, very far down our lists of “things we prep for” because the likelihood of its occurrence is… well… so low that it’s impossible to calculate the odds.

Having said that, since it’s a topic that preppers discuss, we thought it important to include here at 3BY so that we could be a complete prepper resource.

*right