Mask: A Non-Political Commentary

Dude, seriously cover that up! Wear a mask!

This is (basically) an edited transcript (more or less) of the following podcast that we did this weekend, presented here in this form for those who prefer written words to podcasts.

Masks

Salty: I got this. I’ve got it covered up.

Spice: Yeah, he does have it covered up. He’s wearing a mask as we speak here in our Chrysler 300 Studio. He’s not dying. He’s not suffocating.

Salty: I’m not passing out. It is in no way affecting my ability to both drive and do a podcast.

Spice: I am aware of the signs of both hypoxia and carbon dioxide poisoning. And he’s showing neither.

Salty: There is actually one downside to what I’m doing. I have to be careful, because the mask does fog up the glasses. I don’t actually want to become blind, so I can’t drive. So there is that.

Spice: That’s why I wear masks that have bars over the noses.

Salty: So welcome to the show! Not surprisingly, the show today is “Who is that masked man?”

Spice: The wise man is in the mask.

It’s not about mandates

Salty: It’s so funny. I hear so much whining and moaning and complaining about masks that that I’ve got to this to this point where I’m just like, Really? Are you seven? Is this kindergarten? What what was wrong with you? Yeah, I mean, are you do you whine complaining and moan about brushing your teeth?

Now, I know for a lot of people you are out there probably listening just ready to just explode “Freedom!” And “You can’t tell me what to do!”

You’re right. I can’t tell you what to do. You have the freedom to wear a mask, or not wear a mask. You have the right. You have the right to walk around inside your own yard (if you have a wall around it) without any pants on when it’s 20 degrees below zero. You have the right  to jump off a 50 foot cliff. You have the right  to do a lot of things that aren’t great ideas.

This podcast isn’t about laws, either as they are or as they should be.

It’s not about politics

No, it isn’t about politics either. This is not a political topic.  Masks are not a political statement unless you make them one. Seriously.

The only people who are who think masks are political statements are the people who make them one. Period.

I guarantee to you that medical people of all political persuasions have been wearing masks when they treat you for as long as you remember. And who has complained about that?

Take my dentist, for example. He’s been my dentist for 25 years. And he is as conservative as they come, and an evangelical Christian. And he’s worn a mask every time that he’s treated me as a patient. Because it’s about his personal safety and my personal safety. It has nothing to do with politics. It’s about the science.

The science of it

Spice: So, here’s the science of it. We’re talking here about the kind of masks most people are wearing today. These are either at least two ply, reasonably well fitting cloth face masks, or garden variety off the shelf surgical masks. They’re called surgical masks, but I’ve worn actual surgical masks which cost five times as much and fit better. So they’re not really surgical masks. They’re more like clinical use masks that you can buy fairly cheap at places everywhere from Harbor Freight to Walgreens or whatever.  

These masks do a pretty good but not perfect job of catching respiratory droplets of the size that can carry viral particles. It doesn’t matter if the viruses are the ones that cause COVID, or are flu particles, or cause colds, or a whole bunch of other syncytioviruses that only viologists bother to memorize all the names for. The masks catch the respiratory droplets that carry those. When you exhale, they catch them with somewhere around 80 to  85% efficiency, depending on the specifics of the mask. So they’re most effective when they’re catching stuff coming out of the breather’s respiratory tract.

But also, they’re stopping something like 60% of incoming particles that are already in the air that somebody less careful has exhaled. So…

Salty: Nobody said there was gonna be math.

Spice: Science, math, it’s a thing.

Don’t give the virus a head start

The other part of it is, it’s not just about stopping transmissions, so you don’t get exposed at all. One thing that a lot of people overlook with this is it’s also about dose. When you get a virus, basically any virus, unless you’re horribly immuno-compromised, your immune system is going to try and eliminate it. And at the same time, the virus is getting into your cells, and causing your cells to replicate it. If viral replication outstrips your immune system, you get sicker. If your immune system outstrips the viral reproduction, you get rid of the virus faster and have fewer symptoms.

It’s like a race. If you give the other guy a really big head start, the other guy is more likely to win, all other things being equal. If you wear a mask, the virus doesn’t get as big a head start. If the guy who’s got the virus wears a mask, the virus has an even bigger chunk taken out of its head start. And if both you and the guy transmitting the virus have the mask, YOU get the head start.

And then if you were to follow the rest of the guidelines and keep socially distance of six feet high… Guess what? Transmission becomes not impossible, but certainly unlikely.

A lighter dose

Also if you get a lighter dose to start with, because you’ve been taking precautions, the risk of having a serious infection drops. Even if you do show symptoms, you are way more likely to show mild symptoms, and far less likely to end up trying to get into a hospital. And as we do this piece in northern Missouri, in the first week of December, there aren’t any hospital beds left open anymore. So good luck with that in this region. But you’re less likely to need one of these nonexistent beds if you’re masked up.

So you’re reducing your risk of getting exposed in the first place. And if you do get exposed, you’re much more likely to have one of those asymptomatic infections. And an asymptomatic infection provides protection for at least months, perhaps years. We don’t know yet how long.

Reasons not to mask?

Salty: And here’s the thing. You know, there’s so many excuses for people not wearing masks. You know, we all know them. I absolutely don’t like wearing a mask. I hate it. It stinks. Wearing a mask has changed my behavior. Like I won’t go to the gym and wear a mask. I won’t do it, because for me, it raises a hassle level to be just too high.

Spice: We bought a home exercise bike instead. Because exercise is important.

Salty: Anyway, you know we all hate it. Doctors hate it, the nurses hate it, my dentist for the last 25 years has hated it; but it’s just a cost of doing business. Now you can do it or you cannot but you know just realize that if you choose not to and you choose to ignore all of the the rest of the warnings.. Okay, good luck then that’s all I gotta say good luck Yeah, hope your case you get doesn’t get you that bad. You know, that’s the best I can do is hope here.  

Is it all about you?

Spice: Yeah, I gotta be honest with you. I’m not terribly worried about getting this virus. My health profile is such that probability is high, if I got this virus, I would get an asymptomatic or mild case of it. So I’m not that worried about it. But I still wear masks. Every time I’m out in public where there might be transmission. I don’t want to be the person who’s asymptomatic and spreading this around to my elderly neighbors. I don’t want to be the person who’s spreading it to my spouse.

Salty: Spice and I have both been involved — me as a coach and her as a player in a ref — in the sport of roller derby. Because I want her to tell you what the first rule of roller derby is:

Spice: Don’t be a dirtbag.

Dirtbag

Salty: Yeah, we’ll give you the G-rated version; that’s pretty close to what it is. Don’t be a dirtbag. And that’s part of why I wear a mask is I don’t want to be a dirtbag. I don’t know if I have it. Who knows; I haven’t been tested. If I have it, I don’t want to give it to anybody else. Because that’s part of being a responsible human being. This is a gift I do not want to pass on.

Spice: So you’re not worried about it. Fine, you’re an adult, that’s a threat to you. But think for a moment, maybe you’re out at a restaurant, and the person who brings you your meal, walking by you several times and leaning over you to to pick up stuff and set down stuff and things like that. Maybe she is the sole support for a couple of kids. And this is this job is their only income. And if she gets sick, what are they going to do for a paycheck? Do you not care about that either? Maybe you don’t. But it’s it ought to be part of the equation at least.

It’s not all about you and your freedom. Unless you decide that’s the only thing that’s important.

Salty: You can probably tell: There’s there’s some frustration here. I think at least to me, it’s a matter of selfishness versus selflessness. Since we both understand that masks do reduce the transmission of the disease…

Spice: And the intensity of the disease …

Salty: It is obvious to see and it’s been published in medical journals. We’ve just we were researching them right before we went on the air, she was looking at the journal Nature. 

It doesn’t get much more reliable than Nature, folks, I’m sorry. It just doesn’t. 

And you could look up the research yourself. It’s there, that masks reduce both the amount of people who catch the disease and how the dosage is when they do get it.

So here’s the thing…

It’s just a simple thing to do to take care of the people around you even if you’re not worried about yourself. How many chances do we do to get do something that easy, that might make a real difference to other people, either those we care about or those who come into casual contact with?

It’s only as big a thing as people insist on making it. Left to its own devices, it’s just a mild annoyance.

Let’s talk about the American people for just a second. We’re living a lot longer, largely because of the improvements made through modern medicine and modern medical techniques, which include hygiene.

Spice: As somebody who’s studied medical history, I can tell you that the biggest improvements in health, the reductions in infant mortality, the increases in lifespan; they did not really hit their giant upswing of improvement when we started developing good drugs. It’s hygiene. It’s first and foremost about hygiene. That’s always been true for public health.  So yeah, we’re getting better at treating this COVID thing. But it’s much better to do the easy thing to reduce transmission, through prevention, the stopping the germs.

You don’t get guarantees. That’s not how medicine works. But you do get improvements in your chances. And it’s worth it.

Salty didn’t die

Salty: Okay, we have preached at you. I’ve done this whole thing with my mask on, you know, I’ve just drove 25 miles or whatever it was, and did a podcast. I didn’t pass out because of a lack of oxygen. I bet if you put the oxygen thing on my finger, it’d be just fine right now.

Anyway, so this is the masker episode. I am the masked driver.