Technical Pants? Yes!

Once upon a time, when Salty and I were podcasting, he got me started on the subject of … pants. Technical pants. In my case, hiking pants. Now I am *not* a shopper, at all, so it takes a lot to get me enthused about Stuff. I’m all on on these technical pants though. This transcript, modified for readability, explains why you might like to go the same way for bug-out or other outdoor gear.

What’s wrong with just jeans or camo cargo pants?

Salty: She just came back from a Big Hike. So let’s start by talking about the search and final acquisition of a pair of hiking pants.

Spice: The problem is my old standby of either camo, cotton hunting pants or jeans are both pretty bad choices for outdoor trips. So for hiking, I’m I’m leaving those behind. The reasons they’re bad for hiking are the same as the reasons that they would be bad for bugging out.

Salty: And what are those reasons?

Spice: First and foremost, they take a long time to dry. They’re hard to wash, so you end up wearing dirty a lot, which is a hygiene issue as well as a looks issue. But mostly when you get them wet they stay wet. They’re very uncomfortable when they’re wet and they’re hard to get on and off when you need to. When they’re wet, so they’re just not user friendly at all. 

Salty: And also, once you get them wet, I’m going to use her phrase because I think it’s funny once you get them wet and you get them wet with something like buffalo dirt…

Spice: I was explaining to Salty, who didn’t get to come on this hiking vacation with me — Bison dirt is where you have a lot of bison living on a bit of ground, and they add their own special fertilizer to the soil, and then they churn it up on the game trails with their hooves, especially around the stream crossings, where it turns into a thick muck. Bison dirt is impossible to avoid and hard to wash off of cotton cloth. It also makes the cloth very heavy. It’s kind of like wearing weighted bell bottoms that bounce against your legs with every step. But it’s very easy to wash off of technical hiking pants.

What’s ‘technical’ about pants?

Technical pants are made of artificial fabric. I don’t know exactly what the composition is, but it is a rip stop material. It’s very lightweight and packs small. It’s a very a pliable and soft, but most importantly, it dries very readily and washes clean very easily. Did you get some charcoal on it because you rubbed up against a bunch of burned trees? Or get a bunch of bison dirt on it because *maybe* you mistook that crust for dry ground when you were trying to cross the stream and you ended up calf deep in bison dirt? And if, hypothetically, this happened to you, did your hiking partner laugh her hind parts off at you?

Anyway, if this happens with technical pants, it washes right off. All you have to do is find a better stream crossing. Walk calf deep in the stream, walk back out and the pants are basically clean before you can get yourself back to the car, which might be another five miles away. They’re dry already.

Salty: Yeah. The pair of pants that we’re talking about is way bought them on a place that starts with an A and ends with Amazon. And, basically, we bought a pair. We weren’t really concerned about price, even though they really weren’t the most expensive (less than $30). But we bought a pair of that actually fits. We kept ordering pants until we found a pair that actually fit her. Actually, we found a pair pretty early in the process.

Spice:
By “fits”, we mean fits loose enough that it’s not only comfortable, but I could fit a pair of lightweight tights underneath for warmth if needed.

Salty: Because these pants are great for lots of things, but they’re not warm. Yeah, you’re not talking about cold weather pants; you’re talking about something you’d have to layer. Additionally, this particular pair has the zip off legs (as many of them do). She’s wearing a pair of them right now with legs zipped off into shorts. And that works well, too, because when you get your pants covered with bison dirt…

Spice: … and you don’t wish to track up the interior of your friend’s car, well, you can just zip the legs right off before you climb into her car.

Salty: And they wash perfectly clean sink washing.

Spice: Or, if you were on the road and you didn’t want to walk into a stream, but you wanted to wash off those pant legs that had the bison dirt on them, you could take the pant legs off, wash them separately and then just reattach them and not have to take your pants off.

Salty: Good to know. Once we finally finally found we found a pair that she liked, I bought three more pairs, just like the first but in different colors. Keep in mind you want muted colors for hiking  — and bugging out, for that matter. You don’t want red or something that shows dirt readily.

Spice: Yeah, they do offer a lot of light gray and khaki ones. But it’s a just cosmetic issue and a hiding in the night issue … should you wish to do that. Pale is a lot more visible unless you’re matching a light desert background. Khaki show stains a lot more, but we just washed them in the sink overnight, and there’s a nifty procedure Doc showed me for drying clothes. You can read about it here. I had two pair  with me. That’s all I needed for a hundred miles of hiking over the course of a week and they were still in in decent shape to be worn. I could have worn them on the plane to come back if I’d wanted to.

Another big bonus of the technical pants is the rip-stop fabric. Small damages don’t rip out to ruin the whole garment. And the fabric is smooth, not offering much friction or purchase for sticky bits of plant life. Even when we were climbing over downed trees and going through pine forests that have all sorts of grabby bits sticking out, they don’t grab or stick.Salty: Unlike cotton.

Spice: They don’t pick up stickers unlike cotton cotton. That’s a big deal in fall woods and fields in Missouri. But my favorite part of them was the quick dry; and they’re built to be walked in. So you don’t get nearly as much friction when you’re walking, either. Those skinny jeans might look good. I wouldn’t think so, but then I have no fashion sense. But even if they do look good, they are not fun to walk in for long periods. You get friction in places you don’t want friction.

Another technical pant option

Salty: So yeah, there is one other option to me. The other option for bug out type technical pants is 5.11. (This is a brand. To whom we have no financial connection.

Quick dry, Rip-stop, low friction, durable and comfortable. Pack thin warm unders for winter.) Five Elevens are just great pants; but we don’t actually have any. They don’t didn’t really fit either one of us particularly well. Now, if we can find a good place to buy 5.11 women’s clothing, I’d like to get her a couple of pairs. These the pants that are commonly called tactical pants. They’ve got basically extra pockets and are reinforced and have some padding in the knees, and that’s a really nice pant. 

Spice: I love big cargo pockets. That’s the only thing I didn’t appreciate about the hiking pants is they don’t have giant cargo pockets.

Salty: The Five Elevens have a ripstop. There again, they’re good technical fabric. They’re not as easy to dry as the hiking pants are, but they’re a heavier pants, so they’re a better choice for winter. But you know, she’s a petite woman, and it’s a pretty specific fit and even 5.11 brands that we’ve tried that are supposedly for women are basically just downsized men’s pants. They don’t fit a woman’s form. She’s a fit woman and they fit her fine around the thighs. But the waist is a man’s way. It’s not a woman’s way. So the waist is like three inches too big.

Salty: So there we are: Pants. You probably shouldn’t leave home without them.

Spice: A pair of hiking pants replaced the cotton camo hunting pants that were previously in my bug out bag because I’m convinced they’re much better choice. And I’m going to include some thin but warm wool tights for winter. (Wool retains its insulating properties when wet, unlike most fabrics.)