NOTE: Please do not take anything in this post too seriously, it is said tongue-firmly-in-cheek.
I am a country boy. My wife is a country girl.
Chances are real good that if you live in a town, my town is smaller. If you live on a farm or homestead, chances are real good that unless that farm is in the western great plains or the mountain west, where I live is less populated than where you live. This is both good and bad.
Before I go any further, let me explain the difference between city folks and country folks. If you live in a county that has four or fewer stoplights that actually change colors (not just blinking red or yellow lights) you are DEFINITELY country folks. If you live in a county that can fit everybody who lives there inside your State University’s basketball arena and not have anybody seated in the second deck or higher, you are country folks. Pretty much any county who’s biggest town is less than 10,000 people (as long as you don’t actually live within 5 miles of that town) you are country folks. If you DO live in that town, you are kinda country folks but we know you ain’t REALLY country folks.
If you live within commuting distance for work of a small city (or larger), you are city folks. Suburbs? City folks. If you have any of the following in your town, you are city folks: Circuit City, Staples, or have BOTH Home Depot & Lowes, you are city folks.
Ain’t nothing wrong with being city folks, unless y’all try to pretend you are country folks… just like their ain’t nothing wrong with being a hick, just don’t try to pretend you are “all that”… you ain’t, you’re a ‘billy.
There’s good country folk and there’s good city folk. One type of folk is just as good as the other.
But if you gotta understand we are different, us country folk from you city folk.
Y’all say things like it’s “about 15 minutes away”. Country folks don’t say minutes, we say miles. It may be 8 miles but that road is twisty, it could take 20 minutes and that’s if you don’t get behind a tractor or the Carson’s cows aren’t out again.
Y’all don’t understand that when we give directions like “Turn west at the four-way stop” that means THE four-way stop… cause you ain’t gonna see more than one of them.
Y’all don’t understand that even if the locals drive through that very same four-way stop at 5 MPH you had better come to a COMPLETE stop and sit your out-of-state-plates wearing ass still for a couple full seconds cause the local cop’s known us for his whole life but he sure don’t know you and the boss has been after him to write some more tickets….
We country folks don’t have sense enough when we visit the city to not stop and say howdy and talk about the weather with every single person we meet.
We haven’t figured out that “Oh, you were SERIOUS about not parking next to that fire hydrant?”
We understand that locking our car is something we do in the city, but when we get a note from the cops on our windshield telling us that they could see valuables uncovered in our car we are just as likely to say “So what?”
Y’all don’t understand that going to WalMart means driving to a town 30 miles away, and that McDonalds is something the kids get once a month the one time they are in town.
You don’t go to our local grocery store and ask about the grass fed beef, the non-gmo grains & the organic section? You want something organic? Look in the freezer.
You want to go out to lunch? You go to THE cafe. It ain’t hard where to choose, there’s only one in the county.
In the city, you can drive anywhere you like, and nobody thinks anything of it. Out here, you can drive down any road you like but 1) you had better not turn down a road that has one mailbox on it unless you got business with the family that lives there or you are driving the school bus and 2) if you see the road turn from gravel to mud, you better just stop and back up unless you got a 4 wheel drive with tires that whine on the highway… otherwise, you ain’t getting out till it hardens up because AAA don’t come out that way.
If it’s deer season, and you are driving down a gravel road, you better keep it at 30 MPH and don’t stop and stare out your window looking for bucks. Ain’t nobody out here got a sense of humor about road hunters.
You don’t need to worry about gangs jacking your car, but if you are driving down the highway at night and are coming up to the top of the hill, you need to slow down cause there’s a good chance there’s an Amish in a buggy just over the other side, and those things are the dickens to see at night, even with the flashers.
High school sports are a big deal to city people if their kids are playing. High school sports are just plain a big deal to country folks. We don’t like them people very much from the next town over, they are all stuck up and snooty. Have no idea why they think the same thing about us.
Radio’s real easy out here in the country, you can pick one of the 3 stations that are in range… you got talk, you got country or you got classic rock (old stuff from the 70’s, probably hear Sammy Hagar twice an hour). You listen at noon to any station to find out who died and when services are. You probably know them, and if you go to the graveside services, take some extra flowers because you’ve got your own people buried out there to stop by and visit.
City folks can say whatever they want about anybody pretty well with very little chance of problems. Country folks, you gotta watch badmouthing somebody unless you KNOW their entire linage out to third cousin… cause the minute you do bad-mouth somebody, you find out the person you told was their daughter in law or the nephew they raised after his parents passed…
We all like the same pro sports teams you do, but we don’t go to the games like you do… for y’all it’s just a hop, skip and a jump and we are 4 hours away… We get our sports on TV (except for local stuff/our own kids).
When you need car repairs, it’s a big deal to choose the mechanic/garage/etc. Not out in the country, cause there’s only two of them and they are both good. All the guys who tried garages and weren’t went out of business in 6 months, because you know word gets around.
Country folks have two parades a year, one for Homecoming and one for our local festival. If you get stuck waiting, you may as well get out and watch because we don’t have side streets where you can just drive around it.
Hospitals? That’s a problem for us country folks. You have an emergency room, you are in the ER in just a few minutes. We have an emergency? Could be an hour-and-a-half before we get there.
Well, anyway, feel free to continue on with this… if you like… don’t matter whether you are country or city, it’s all good.